Thursday, January 14, 2016

Pasta that doesn't taste like pasta recipe, Janus edition


  1. chile peppers (6-7 small or 4-5 large)
  2. diced tomatoes (1 can)
  3. garlic (4 cloves)
  4. ground coffee (1 tsp)
  5. honey (1 tbsp)
  6. lemon (1, unitless)
  7. medium shells pasta (1 box)
  8. olive oil (enough to sautee)
  9. pesto sauce (1 jar)
  10. salt, pepper, oregano, chili powder, A1 sauce (to taste)
  11. scallions (1 bundle)
  12. smoked gouda cheese (1-2 oz)


  1. Put water and salt in a pot, bring to boil
  2. Put the pasta in the pot, cooking for a length of time equal to the arithmetic mean between the "al dente" option on the box and the "soft" option on the box.
  3. Cut all the scallions and chile peppers in 3/8in long pieces, as well as each clove of garlic in between 4 and 6 pieces.
  4. Sautee the scallions, garlic, and chile peppers in olive oil in a pan over high heat. Stir regularly.
  5. After two minutes, squeeze the lemon directly into the pan, and add the coffee, a generous amount of chili powder, and a small amount of A1 sauce. Also add salt, pepper, and oregano to taste.
  6. Lower the heat to medium. Keep sauteeing.
  7. When the pasta is done or the scallions are almost done sauteeing, whichever is later, drain the pasta and add it to the pan. Raise the heat to medium-high. Also add the can of diced tomatoes (without the can) and the pesto sauce. Stir. Add additional salt and pepper to taste. Stir. Shred the gouda cheese into the pan and add parmesan to texture. Keep stirring. Add the honey. Stir.
  8. Keep stirring until you are satisfied that it is homogeneously mixed. Serve warm or cold.
This recipe was cooked by Janus. Arya says it's good.

(Arya): Janus cooks weird. But holy crap is it delicious.